For years, I've berated myself many a times, and try to make up for regretful moments when I should do better

And I've never been able to fully explain why I feel this negativity... which is why Ive always been trying...

Well, now I know...

I guess Ive expected figures in the role to be more self-sacrificing than this...
Too many fairy tales again, I think...

Ahh... I wish I can knock some sense into her...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[21/03/10 1:15 AM] [0 comments]

So currently, Im obsessed with shedding some pounds (hopefully)...

And till date, Ive been having one meal daily, lost 2kg and some inches around my tummy and hips....

Way to go, Sarah!! *Beams*

More to lose... Jia you!
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Other than the bi-weekly visits to the gym, Ive managed to suck my parent into the healthy routine too...

Every night after shoot now, no matter how drained, Ill cajoled/threatened them to a short 30 minutes exercise at the workout stations near the playground downstairs my flat...

The only family time I spent a day with them...
*Smiles* I need to keep at this...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[16/03/10 5:29 PM] [0 comments]

Maybe its cos Ive finished this week's shoot... making me feel well enough to pop in...

Its been like my MSN nick says... draining...
Which is nothing new really...
Its just like carrying this momentary big mental block around your head... with nothing else mattering, except flowers, angle, lighting and staying alive *grinz*

There's another 1 and a half months to go...
Before Ill fly off again...
Its starting to be slightly routine huh?
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Over the weekend, I picked this book up at Kino... browse for 10 minutes... and ended up bringing it home... hahaha...

Anyways, it involves court scenes, which Im a sucker for...

"House Rules" by Jodi Picoult is the kind of book that draws me in... quite literally... cos I couldnt put it down for 2 days...

Part of the reason might be how it talks about hypocrisy being part of the growing up package... and how survival and fitting into the normal world equals to being unreal...

The book circles around Autism (Asperger)...
In short, its a disorder suffered by kids who are bright, verbal and crave social acceptance...
Yet not knowing how to get it...
1. Their conversations are one-sided, only focusing on themselves or a very narrow topic of interest
2. They are unable to read social cues or body language.. and cant identify the feelings of people around them...
3. And because of the above, they are often considered odd or eccentric... leading to social isolation...

It goes on about how this 18 year old kid who suffered from Autism and is a forensic analysis junkie ended up being suspected for murder... touching on what it means to be different in our society...

I can drool on about the story... lol....

Anyways, just some parts Ive dog-earred:
"And even though she apologized later, there was always a disconnect for me: telling the truth was supposed to set you free wasnt it? So how come it got me into trouble when I told a new mother that her baby looked like a monkey? Or when I read another kid's paper in class during a peer edit and said it was abysmal? Or when I told my mother that I felt like an alien who'd been sent down to analyze families, since I never really seemed to be a part of ours?"

"There are times when Jacob's world makes a lot more sense to me than the one the rest of us live in. Why do we ask people how they're doing when we don't give a crap about the answer? In reality, someone who asks you how you're doing doesnt want to hear the truth. He wants the pat answer, the expected response, so that he can go on his merry way."

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[09/03/10 7:37 PM] [0 comments]

So it's officially the start of another 2 months of photoshoot... the second lap of our big catalog production...

Ended at 930pm... which is not so bad for a day with all the big stands...

The only problem had to be the fact that I cant carry anymore stuff... my arms sort of gave way after the gym classes...
Talk about wrong timing!!
Too bad for the guys (photographer and assistant)... :p

There's going to be lapse of updates... so yeah, dun watch out for this space *grinz*

P.S Seldom am I as regretful of my actions... I hate the effect now...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[02/03/10 12:41 AM] [0 comments]

With less than 24 hours left of my holiday, Im having a sudden panic seizure...

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!!
*whines out loud*
Sigh... I wish its last Monday again...

Don't be surprised cos beneath this misunderstood Senior Manager farce, Im actually *gasps* a lazy bum...
(come on people... Im human too!!)

I wish I have an inexhaustible bank account now... or a sugar daddy who I can live off... or or a pair of wealthy parent that can support me for the rest of my life... without me having to lift a single finger...

Isnt there anyone who can make time stops...
Argghhh...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[20/02/10 5:30 PM] [0 comments]

So I've been to Hell and back...
The past week was a real blast!

But thanks to all the kind committed souls who helped out... we survived it all... :)

Honestly, I think its at times like this that we can see truly the real team players and those who are not... and I'm blessed with a lot of the former around me...
(Thanks a million... u guys know who u are!)

So far, Ive been doing nothing but eating, sleeping and watching movies for the past 2 days...
The lazy part of me is enjoying every single minute of this...
*grinz*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There are other things that Ive tried writing for half an hour and still cant get right...

Im going to try again another day...

Off to get my new phone soon!!! *grinz*
Love ya guys...
Ciaoz~~

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[17/02/10 9:33 AM] [0 comments]

This is the first CNY & Valentine I experience such anxiety ...

For one, I don't even have a Team B yet... and Im sure Im not going to find 40 people in this short one weekend...

And without the above team, its almost impossible for us to be able to finish the orders... and that's not taking into the account the fact that I cant even view orders from the system beyond 8th Feb...

*Sigh*
Ive been praying for a miracle for 3 days...
And I need one now badly...
(Are YOU listening in?)

P.S A frost-bitten week of nothing but bad news was momentarily warmed by
1. a can of Lavender powder for my heat rash,
2. an apple pie for my supper and
3. a keychain I love with my name on it...

Fighting! ^^

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[05/02/10 7:37 PM] [0 comments]

loves : mayday.black.calla lilies.freedom.jay chou.riesling.friends.movies.starbucks cappucino.care.roses.white.choc.