This is the first CNY & Valentine I experience such anxiety ...

For one, I don't even have a Team B yet... and Im sure Im not going to find 40 people in this short one weekend...

And without the above team, its almost impossible for us to be able to finish the orders... and that's not taking into the account the fact that I cant even view orders from the system beyond 8th Feb...

*Sigh*
Ive been praying for a miracle for 3 days...
And I need one now badly...
(Are YOU listening in?)

P.S A frost-bitten week of nothing but bad news was momentarily warmed by
1. a can of Lavender powder for my heat rash,
2. an apple pie for my supper and
3. a keychain I love with my name on it...

Fighting! ^^

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[05/02/10 7:37 PM] [0 comments]

Suddenly realized ...

Sometimes in life, its not about the ones that matters...
Instead it should be about those whom you matter to...

Time for mid-life evaluation...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[30/01/10 10:21 AM] [0 comments]

Maybe its complacency... the over-zealous confidence that drives the assumption...

Or it might be time for self-evaluation... maybe it is has always been just a one-sided affair...

And the irony after my previous entry on my blessed life...
Nothing wakes me up better than a slap across the face...

Sleep deludes me...
*Sigh*

P.S Now i know why most poems are composed in half-despair... Im too poetic for my liking tonight...

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[25/01/10 8:01 PM] [0 comments]

Maybe its the aftermath of too much peasant-influence (think duck) or it might have something to do with the old age... *grinz*

Im starting to realize that its the small, unspoken things that counts for me...
Others need words but I guess mine will be actions...
(observed actions to be more accurate, not the showy dramatic kind done for the sake of impressing)

In the recent wedding dinners, we had this almost stranger guy sitting at the same table...
His ungentlemanly mannerism showed when he was busy gulping down his food, totally oblivious to his lady friend sitting next to him, who was trying hard to get the prawns from across the table...

(so it was no wonder that he got frost-bite when he came over to introduce himself later on)

Its apparent too in the way other girls are being mentioned in the conversations...
Ive had a friend who gashed on about how pretty or shapely some girl-friend of his looked on his facebook profile...
And when he talked about how much he wanted any one of them to be his gf, I rolled my eyes...
Cos he obviously belongs to the group who cant see beyond skin-deep...

(Doesn't anyone understand that all humans age?? lol)

Anyways... all the recent encounters brought me to one big conclusion...
There's only so much to a guy!

Ahh... I love being single...
*grinz*

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[22/01/10 6:31 PM] [0 comments]

I think Ive had a blessed life so far...

And if someone asked me whether there's anything Ill wish for
Maybe there is that teeny weeny one thing... but other than that, I guess it has been a pretty good ride so far...

Of course its not like I have loads of cash to burn...
Or condominium and car to my name...
I don't know the who and who...
None do I bask in the limelight of my career...

But then again, those are not the definitive to happiness for me...

Im gladdened that Im gifted with:
1. A happy family... with my healthy silly parent who let me lead the life I want with a lot of understanding...
And of course my cute little nephew whom I adore...

2. A bunch of great pals who genuinely cares and are so unbelievably tolerate to the crazy me and still loves me all the same... *grinz*

3. A job that I still feels so passionate about... and the fact that I never have to drag myself to work

4. A bunch of fantastic colleagues who made my working place so much more homey...
And bearable as compared to the other places I've worked in...

5. A relatively still healthy body... with the basic functions covered...
(though it might not be for long... hahaha)

To some, the above might be trivial stuff...
But I know of so many others who might be deprived of one or the other...
and they taught me how to appreciate mine...

To me, these are my blessings and the things that keep me moving on and feeling alive everyday!!

Im just glad Im me... *smiles*

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[20/01/10 6:12 PM] [0 comments]

Just had a very busy and tiring Sunday...
But of cos, Im happy to be part of one of my bestie's wedding!! :)
Especially when she has managed to finally tie the knot with a wonderful man...

I have always been telling her its her "fu qi" - good fortune!
*grinz*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Im very blessed that my good friends deemed me fit to be a part of their sister entourage for the most important day of their life...

So far, its been 7 last Sunday... 8 is coming on the 19th of this month...

But somehow, in the recent weddings... these friends have taken it upon themselves a duty to "accidentally" pair me up with very eligible men in their circle, either as fellow emcees or as their partners...

Some even went as far as to drop hints before the wedding day... and unsubtly ask me for my opinions on the guys after...

To say these guys are eligible is an understatement...
I have had one who drove a BMW and lived in a semi detached, another who is a mechanical engineer and seem gentle and quiet ... The one on the 19th is a banker...

*Sigh*

I honestly understand everyone's good intention... what with my recently celebrated 30th birthday... and the fact that I seem to enjoy my singlehood way too much :p

But really,
1. Though i know which era Im living in, matchmaking (no matter which form it takes) still does not appeal to me...

Even at the age of 30, I still feel that Im above this...

2. Everyone seems to feel and worry about my biological clock more than I do...
I know Im not following the normal societal timeline... but Im not complaining...

Somehow, I condemn the notion of marrying for the sake of it... or worse, cos my time is up...

3. I honestly don't believe that I can feel interested in someone with just one meeting...
Im too jaded to believe in the idea of "Love at first sight"...

It takes a really long time for me to even realize that something is amiss...

4. And do I look so materialistic??!!!
These guys are all fantastic and fulfill the basic requirements that many girls want... so much so that I wonder why they are still single...

But that aside, that's not what I want in a partner...
It has to be something more than these...
I dont need the car, the money or even the looks...
There's got to be a connection thats beyond all this
(maybe Im just too idealistic hahaha)


So with all due respect to the kind intentions... Ill express my heartfelt appreciation here... but *grimace*
STOP DOING THAT, PEOPLE!!!
It irritates the hell out of me...

I believe that when the time is right, or when the someone is right... what will happen, will happen... :)

P.S Something I read recently which carries a lot of meaning for the case in point:
"what is the matter with me? Am I too choosy?
(but) I dont want to be married just for the sake of being married. I cant think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I cant talk to, or worse, someone I cant be silent with."

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[11/01/10 5:16 PM] [0 comments]

Sigh... I did it again!

Those 5 seconds tsunamis that I thought Ive well mastered and tamed... has made a comeback today...

Din feel good to be shouting at someone across a room full of people... even though at that point, it was deemed necessary...

But still... as sudden as it comes, the emotion will subside...
replaced by immediate guilt...
Thats when Ill feel sick in the stomach for the whole day...

I should be able to do better than this!!
*shake head*

moved on with a clear path ahead
posted [faith]
[07/01/10 3:00 PM] [0 comments]

loves : mayday.black.calla lilies.freedom.jay chou.riesling.friends.movies.starbucks cappucino.care.roses.white.choc.